Four-sides-model

…here we are again. Today I’ll present you the four-sides-model from Schulz von Thun and I’ll add it with some useful examples.

Each comment includes – put that in your pipe and smoke it! – four messages at once:

Here the following example:

The man (sender) says to his wife at the wheel (receiver): “Babe, it’s green ahead!”

So what all is in this message, what has the sender (conscious or unconscious) inserted into and what can the receiver take out from it?

Factual level: In the beginning the message includes factual information.

“Babe, it’s green ahead!”

We find something out about the situation of the traffic light – it’s green. Every time when you deal with a situation, this level of the message has to come to the fore – or should at least.

Self-revelation level: Every message includes not only a factual content, but also information about the sender himself.

“Babe, it’s green ahead!”

The sender is obviously speaking English and isn’t color-blinded. He’s awake, internal present and he’s in hurry.

Relationship level: Out of the message it arises, in what kind of relation the conversational partners are in. For example in the way how they formulate, tone and other nonverbal accompanied signals.

“Babe, it’s green ahead!”

The man indicates that he doesn’t think the woman would be capable to drive the car optimal without his help. Maybe the woman could react a little snub: “Who drives the car, you?!” Note well: Her rejection addresses the relationship level and not the factual information level! (I guess in the latter case she agrees.) ;-)

Appeal level: Each message serves also to cause the receiver to affect to do or not to do something, to think or to feel in a certain way. This kind of effort to influent a person may be more or less free spoken or hidden…

“Babe, it’s green ahead!”

The woman could find the appeal reasonable, but could react a little harsh by the paternalism. Or the opposite – she finds the appeal unreasonable (“I shouldn’t drive more than 50…”), but finds it okay, when the man makes her some suggestions in this way…

Of course you might say, that this example is theoretic, than in real life you might know the person and can see his facial expressions, his gestures and can hear his tone – but nevertheless the fact exists: you always send more messages at once and the counterpart has to pick the right one out…

In my next post I’ll focus again on leadership and will deal with the SCARF-Model of Rock. I know this will rock! xD

To you all – enjoy your Sunday and live with passion!